Cancerversary 2019

It’s been a year since I was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia, on July 18th I was given the news that I am officially a Cancer Survivor. This year for my First ever Cancerversary I was on a plane to Puerto Rico to be united with all of my siblings for the first time ever in our lives. Dad was so happy, the happiest I had ever seen him, seeing all of his kids together and getting to show us off to his town. Dad even built an add on patio with a closed in outside bathroom so now he has 2 patios for get togethers.

Imagine waking up to this scenery in you backyard, dad is living the good life, his neighbors have chickens, cows and a variety skills. Dad is friends with everyone with a business so he truly getsthe hook up where he goes or when he needs something. It’s a beautiful thing to see a community so tight knitted as they are. Day one it was mysel and two of my brother, we went to see the waterfall that we drove by goin up the mountain, I was bummed th it wasn’t full enough to swim in but was very tempted.

Let’s talk food, though I didnt eat much of everything I definitely took picture of others food. For 2 days straight dad bought fresh baked bread, fried spam, eggas and added cheese to then put it in the panini press, so dang delicious. We had rice, beans, stewed chicken, fried pork, all the good stuff. And also for the reunion we roasted a whole pig which I had never seen in person, I tried this plantain and gizzard meal which was als good. On tglast. day we went to manhatan cafe, the churrasco(skirt steak) was themost tender I have ever tasted, All in all we were fed well. Also none of these photos were edited.

It was unfortunate that my cousin and I were sick to our stomach for our last 2 days of our trip. We wanted to do more, we wanted to explore but one thing led to another and time flies, we didn’t get to do much more in our short time there. I absolutely loved meeting new family and watching everyone interact, playing dominos and enjoying each others company. I wish more family could’ve made, I missed my aunts and cousins, maybe next time. Here are some more pictures.

Empties

These are some empties I’ve been able to hold on to before tossing them out a d some that just took up space and were tossed, photo credit for the 2nd picture @fashionpulsedaily
Since I really enjoyed these body polish but they were recycled once they were done.

@dove I must say though I didnt enjoy the advanced care rebalance deodorant (i went through a 2 pack) I truly enjoyed the body polish and yes I did try all 3 that are pictured, my favorite would have to be the crushed macadamia and rice milk (blue). I have never been a fan of tubs you have to dig in to but this I have made an exception with all 3 tubs!

@bananaboatbrand did me well, I didn’t burn and it felt dry after application which I used when I wasn’t carrying around my @hawaiiantropic both were comfortable and light weight.

@muradskincare there isn’t much I can say other than I absolutely love my experience with murad products and have already start a new night and day moisturizer. I cannot say enough good things!

@rimmellondonus kate in 01 clear is a lip moisturizer that I use all during the day when I’m not wearing lipstick, I’m on my last tube now before I retire it and try something new, I’ve been using a night lip mask instead of this as of lately.

Have you tried any of these?
Do you have any suggestions?

#skincare #sunscreen #empties #projectempties #lipbalm #makeupjunkie #skicarelover #dove #murad #bananaboat #hawaiiantropic #rimmel

Ipsy, July 2019

My ipsy bag has arrived!
The first thing was the 2 @midflower.us masks, it is a #silkara invisible Hyaluronic Acid sheet mask.

Then it was the @pacificabeauty Rose & Coconut Infused blush & bronzer for a quick sunkissed look and rosy sheen and it even has a mirror on the back!

I saw a brush from @firma_beauty and was so excited, the 204 is a wide blending brush. I get pretty excited about brushes.

The @ciatelondon watermelon burst hydrating primer which boosts glow and claims helps makeup last longer.(I haven’t tried it yet) the deed bursts dissolve, tried it on the back of my hand, little goes a long way.

Lastly @thebalm eyeshadow in “He said,She said” in a beautiful shimmery lilac.

This bag made my day!

Birthday Shenanigans and Biopsy Results

Hey there,

Welcome to the blog I thought I would Chronicle my Cancer Journey. Life became a routine, I fell in to a slump of streaming and watching YouTube to keep my mind occupied. I was very tired, I took naps and went to the infusion center for medicine and hydration. My routine entailed appointments, treatments, walking around Trader Joe’s, the supermarket, CVS and sometimes visiting friends at the mall. Arsenic came to an end June 7th and Atra June 23rd and my bone marrow biopsy July 8th. -waiting on results.

While we wait let’s update. Before my Birthday my aunt through me a Birthday party/cookout with my aunt visiting from Florida, my cousins and my brother. We had a great time and laughed over melting ice cream cake.

And a couple of days later for my Birthday my aunt, my mom and I had lunch, my cousin surprised me with a visit when we arrived, the food was great but the company even better but did get a picture with both my aunties

I spent the fourth of July celebrating at the Besties house by the pool and celebrated my birthday the fifth with my ride or die, we went out to eat lunch at Barra in sheltom, it was so delicious! We attempted to get in the pool but it was too cold and also forgot to catch a candid of us!

I rested pretty much for an entire week before looking for a Birthday outfit to fit the princess of my life. Going here there and everywhere in between just to find an outfit and shoes. We found them and she looked stunning on her day, we went for breakfast at the diner and then had a fantastic time at dinner.

It has been one hell of a journey, one I was struck by surprise with September 18th, one I’ll never forget. I was hospitalized for 2 months and 8 months as an outpatient, 10 months to the day I was given the news by surprise during a routine visit with the nurse practitioner(she had a nurse shadowing for her Masters, my nurse through most of my treatment in the hospital.) My oncologist knocks, walk in and tells me my biopsy results which I wasn’t expecting til next week, there is No evidence for persistent Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia. I’m Cancer Free! I get my port removed in a few weeks and then time to live for life I fought hard for, through good and the bad, I am grateful to see another day, to enjoy life, to remind myself who I truly am as I continue to learn more about myself and what life has to give. I am so thankful for the support from family and friends through these hard times, always being there with me through thick and thin. I’m the most thankful for my mom, being by my side 24/7, she has been and always be my queen, my everything.

Sleek Makeup

Let’s start off with my liked product and then we can move on.
The elixir in Sunlit: I tried very little on as a highlighter, I tried it under foundation, mixed in with foundation both times it just let me feeling oily. I tried using it as a bronzer as well as a base for the loose powder, that didn’t work so then i tried mixing the 3 to make a paste and it went on wellbutrin creased and balled up, it wasnt pretty. The 2nd to last picture shows the I used the elixir together with the loose powder, it was not pretty. The last picture I believe was just using a wet brush which wasnt as effective.

Sleek loose powder in Dazed: ive tried this on 3 different way, applied with elixir(fail) with a wet brush(last picture”not the best outcome”) and like today and a couple of other days I used a dry brush, it goes on smoothly with s little fall out which is expected

Sleek 12 hour wear eyeliner in Money made me do it #1247
Like a gold color can be used on the waterline or as a liner on it’s on, its smooth and glides on well, i’m really enjoying it, it opens my eyes like a white liner would do just not as bright, great..
I received this voxbox complimentary for my honest opinion. 2/3 were a hit

#SleekonFleek #SleekmakeupUSA #contest #complimentary @sleekmakeupusa @Influenster #makeup #beauty #eyeshadow #eyeliner #makeupjunkie

Below on the right you can see the bronzer was not my shade and it pulled pinkish brown. The eyeshadow and pigment here was used with glitter glue and it went on smoothly with a brush which was surprising.

Below is what the shadow looked after an hour of wear mixed with the elixir to create a base but it didnt work out.

I really enjoyed the gold liner in my waterline.

March 14th better late than never.

Most people live their whole lives without hearing the dreaded words “you have cancer” at the age of 28 I was given the diagnosis of Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia. This is not the news I wanted especially days before my best friends wedding I had been looking forward to for a year. I had been weak for months and i kept pushing myself because i was always told to push my limits because it all in my head. I have been told I’m brave, an inspiration, strong, resilient vattling with Gastroparesis, fibromyalgia and undergoing treatments and excision for endometriosis but God apparently thinks I’m more of a badass than I thought to give me such a journey. No one really talks about the mental and emotional trauma when it comes to cancer and everything associated with it. This past 8 months have been completely overwhelming in every single way, not understanding the loss of strength, not able to shower, go for long walks, having to really think twice if my next task was going to take it out of me. As devistating as this news is(I still haven’t wrapped my head around my diagnosis), I would much rather have an answer and a plan than be where I was 6 months ago not understanding what was wrong. This past couple of months I feel I have grown so much as a person, and I know I will beat this I just have to fight a few more battles to win the war. Thank you everyone for every single prayer, every single positive message, every single text and phone call. The support given by all of you, it push me in so many ways you’ll never understand how much it helps. As always I want to thank my family, my best friends and all the friends there near and far for everything you do for me on the daily. I’m sti receiving chemo I hope and pray every single day that I am cured after this journey. For anyone feeling like giving up. Don’t. Stay strong, be brave, stay positive and never give up! If you ever need someone to talk to I’m a pm, text or phone call away.

May 13th

Let’s get right to it, I’ve been in a dark hole disguising myself like everything has been ok.last 2 month cycle was one of the hardest i’ve been through which makes me feel my last will be like fighting tooth and nail. I have had my moments where I miss my friend Melanie, knowing she would’ve been pushing me her hardest but yesterday during treatment I closed my eyes and I saw arms wrapping around wrapping around me and some will say it was an illusion, an effect of chemo but I truly think she was telling me to be strong but i’ve got this. I was just talking to Mama P about her on mothers day and I started whaling, I miss her so much and I know she tried her damndest to beat cancer but #cancersucks. I often get this feeling of guilt, why was I lucky to have a treatment that work up to 90% with a low chance of relapse when there are patients with other cancers that suffer through treatment and battle for years and dont beat it but I will touch more of this and other topics I’d like to talk about in a different post. I have been trying to dig myself out of this dark place I’ve been in where all I do I blank the world out as if nothing is happening. I have been more active which has caused my ankles to go haywire and my plantar fasciitis to act up. Because of this dark hole I stop doing my pt exercises and need to start it back up so my ankles dont give out on me and have to wear ankle braces again. I’m working on me and doing my best to stay more positive, yesterday was just a nightmare of a day. My nurse had to rush to ICU and I got stuck with someone that already makes me anxious and then she missed and the saline hurt and her response was “still” after the needle insert hurt to. I asked her to check if there was blood return, there wasn’t, she missed and anxiety kicked in 10 fold. She went to find another nurse when .y nurse walks in still in panic mode from taking her last patient to ICU and said to just take it easy while she gets supplies ready, I was told I had to control my anxiety. I wiped out when I got home, it all just took it out of me, 2 more months! I am so lucky to have my mom on my side that still looks at me like she did when I was a baby. I know it’s ok to be afraid as long as I keep moving forward, i’m facing the fear. These past 8 months and year have been one of the hardest year of my life, I was pushing my limits not knowing I had cancer, I got on rollercoasters when those movements could’ve made me bleed to death internally. I was able to go on a road trip to Canada for my best friends Bachelorette weekend and definitely pushed my limits not knowing I had leukemia, I just knew i tired quickly & couldnt hang like the other ladies. I missed my best friends big day which still hurts my heart and soul. All I wanted to do was get back getting laid off from my favorite job I’ve ever had, all I wanted was normalcy but my body was falling apart and I still dont even know when i’ll be able to look for a job when I cannot stand for super long periods of time. I dont just have cancer, i battle multiple chronic Illnesses dont qualify for help so the rest of my life I may only be able to work part time, I hope that’s not the case. I’m a workaholic, high achiever by nature but there are days body doesn’t allow me to leave the house, let alone my bed some days. I know after chemo things will feel more normal, my normal. I have struggled with my normal for over a decade, let me tell you, it’s not easy. But on that note I want to wish everyone well, i’m sending healing energy and good vibes to everyone, especially my chronically ill friends and @bec_mellett who I know has had the worst hospital stay going on to 3 months, you stay strong beautiful. I truly want to thank everyone that has reached out even just to say hello and help me through some tough days. To my best friends that get me out of the house as often as they can and helping me keep my head on straight when I feel like i’m astroprojecting. I wont day this has been a breeze because it truly hasn’t been, it just so hard to put in to words so I dont often post. Sometimes I want to post my good days but when family and friends get confused and think I look so healthy and that I look great when even though it’s a good day I still feel like i’m falling apart and definitely dont feel healthy. So I skip posting all together to avoid feel misunderstood.And yes I know that no one means it as an insult when they tell me I look healthy and it also shouldn’t stop from posting but I know there are many of us out there that understand where i’m coming from. To be told.. well just take it as a compliment, who doesn’t like compliments but please put yourself in the shoes of someone that has been sick and will always be sick no matter what I conquer, I would rather be called a warrior then healthy and yes it’s good I look healthy and yes I definitely have a glow and some days I don’t. I completely get it but please be kind, I’m mentally and emotionally distraught and i’m working on accepting myself as well as accepting and understanding others. My world got flipped and turned upside down, my physical state has changed, I dont recognize myself in the mirror, my face is puffer and rounded than it was before I started treated. I lost myself again for the millionth time and i’m trying to find myself and love myself for who I am now and accept that I may have health complications in the years to come from undergoing #Chemotherapy.